'8-Good Reason to Stock Up on Push Pins'

8-Good Reason to Stock Up on Push Pins

By Brian K White at 05/17/2007 14:22

If you pull open that top, right drawer on your desk, you just might find a fistful of push pins, and not just because you have a well stocked desk, but rather because you don't have the high-quality sort of cork board sufficient to handle your surplus. Push pins or no, and an ample supply or no, I need to suggest that you don't have enough of them. It's not just because you don't, which is true, but because there are fully eight great reasons why you could use some more.

• Sometimes you don't have enough, but let's face the facts, you can never have too many.
• A quality push pin can speak volumes for your character and personality, but those of poor quality will always send a message, and it's not one you wish to have.
• Sometimes you need a splash of color, sometimes you need clear ones, and other times still you need the faux-chromium variety, and you just can't have too many of any of them.
• In the case of workplace boredom, you can always affix them to double-sided tape and put them on the chairs of coworkers for exceptional fun.
• In cases of extreme frustration, push pins can be used in lieu of the traditional "pistol" when it comes to the "going" of "postal". Also, since you'll fail either way, this is a great way to avoid a death sentence, even in Florida. Maybe not Texas though, those guys kill everybody.
• In the event you're afraid of falling down, you can place a handful or so in your front pockets. Think of the emotional security you'll enjoy knowing that, if you do indeed fall down, you'll suffer a good half-dozen or so tiny pricks in your pants. That's five more than usual!
• Even though they don't do a darn thing for affixing fat stacks of documents together, nothing works as well when it comes to sticking a hundred-odd pages to a cork board. It's odd, I know, but when your manager asks where your big report is, little can be more rewarding than making him or her grab it themselves only to watch the bulk of it fall to the floor. Try not to laugh.
• Aside from staples, there's nothing that will work quite as well in your inter-office voodoo doll, except for maybe a pack of matches.

Whether you're just looking to increase your IQ, secure that big raise, or just find a way to spite that irritating Ted from accounting, it's easy to see how push pins can make your life better, easier and far more entertaining all around.